The crazy thing is that I just didn't want to go to bed. I was being "rebellious" if you will and I stayed up looking at dumb stuff on the internet and watching TV. Nothing even important.
So the result was.........
.....everyone up late and hustling to get ready for school.
.....a grumpy mom asking everyone to please STOP singing. I think I asked at least 6 times.
.....me looking forward to every single person to be out of my house.
.....not having the energy I need to get done all that needs doing today.
It wasn't worth it.
I traded the way my children felt about themselves this morning, for 3 hours of completely unimportant, time wasting, frivel.
Sometimes I just get selfish and rebellious if you will. I don't want anyone to tell me what to do. It started last night.
Yet, that attitude always comes at a cost. My cost is how I feel today and how I made everyone else feel.
Then I read a blog about a women burned badly in a fire. She was talking about her children;
"I love my children. They make me laugh, smile, and cry and above all:
they make me think.
Your kids are doing this for you everyday, and if they are not, then its your fault.
Children come with these things to bless out lives with.
We need to listen so they can share them with us.
For me, to just think about what I'd be missing out on had I died in the airplane crash
is unthinkable. I would totally miss (out)"
This from a woman who is scarred from head to toe. She says she'd rather live looking like a monster and see and be with them everyday than to have died and left them.
Makes me think.
Because I know I would rather die than live like that. It makes me realize how very much I need to change.
Please forgive me Lord for being selfish.
Thank you for my children. Thank you for my beautiful life. Thank you for understanding when I am less than perfect.
D&C 18: 10
"Remember the worth of souls is great in the sight of God".
I will try and do a little more remembering.
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